Monday, July 10, 2006

Being a mother

Saturday morning was a red letter day! The first mommy podcast, The Jenn & Lia Show! I was one of the guests on the topic "And Baby Makes Three". We discussed on (to quote Jenn) "the realities of having kids, the challenges a stay-at-home mom faces, and more." I believe Jenn is in the midst of post-production (Ahem! Sounds so professional).

Right on cue, in the newspaper today was the story of a 62-year-old woman in the UK who gave birth to a baby boy. The baby was conceived through IVF treatment. Again, I think "Gee, I wonder why women go through menopause in their 40's/50's..." Makes me want to slap Italian fertility expert Professor Severino Antinori who was also responsible for helping a Romanian woman have her first child at age 66.

The UK mother, Patricia Farrant, was quoted as saying "What is important in parenting is not how old you are, but whether you are meeting all the child's needs and we are very confident about doing that." Tell us again Patricia when your son nurses constantly around the clock, learns to be mobile and crawls everywhere, nurses several times at night, throws everything to see the reaction he will get, nurses several times at night, learns to walk, nurses several times at night, have his hands on everything, nurses several times at night, puts everything in his mouth and grabs everything within reach, nurses several times at night, becomes really clingy and only wants mommy, nurses more times at night for comfort, starts running about and wants to climb up and down stairs ALL the time, nurses several times at night, ... I'm sure mothers half her age find it hard to cope and wish they had more than 24 hours and more energy. She had the child so "she can fulfil her 60-year-old husband John's dream of becoming a father." Awww... How sweet. Guess who is on diaper duty!

I am a firm believer of listening to our body and to Mother Nature. The human being has evolved so much and is so out of tune with nature, it's quite alarming. Why do women menopause at a certain age? I believe it's nature's way of saying "Alright, your body will not be able to take the strain of carrying a child, give birth, care for a child, run after a child, answer a bazillion questions past our 40's. Now is when the body needs to rest. Enough!"

Another example of listening to our body. When babies are newborn, they sleep a lot in the day and wake up at night to nurse. Confinement ladies and well-meaning (but ill-informed) mother/mother-in-law/relatives will insist that new mothers sleep at night while they feed babies formula. Their reason: New mothers have gone through a lot of strain on their body with the pregnancy and childbirth, so they need to rest. Please listen to what nature is saying. Newborns sleep a lot in the day. Nature knows that not all mothers are first time mothers. Other children may be around. Not care for the other children? Of course not. Rest whenever the newborn is resting I suppose. Newborns wake up a lot to nurse at night because that is when the breasts produces the most milk. Mother co-sleep with baby, baby feels secure cries less and nurses on demand. Baby sleeps, mother sleeps. See? Nature knows best. She is a Mother after all.


Blogger me said...

sigh! the feeding and providing is the easy part of motherhood. the teaching and guiding part is the most taxing, i feel.

9:06 am  
Blogger Cuddly Family said...

to me, at the age of 60 odd, I dont wanna be handling all that again (unless it's a grandchild ehehe, but hell, they better not make me a grandma so darn fast ok!)..

Why couldnt they have adopted lah.. also daddy mah.. who ask him so long never have kids..

touch wood they live for a while.. but can u imagine? if they encounter health probs or worse pass away suddenly, then the poor little kid how?

4:46 pm  
Blogger Min said...

I'm assuming they're financially stable, one being a child psychologist and the father a consultant. Mom's kids are all grown up, so there's the back up I guess.

me aka lenglui, you're so right. It's not only physically but also mentally exhausting lah. Yes, there are many good points to being a parent but... You know what I mean lah.

5:27 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I too do not agree 66 is way to old. higher risk of anything happening at that age. However UK 66 is very fit ! as opposed to Malaysia 66. Think at 66 one should be relaxing and touring the world not thinking about a kids university fund if you live that long.... may not sound right but its practical thinking

1:37 am  

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