Wednesday, August 02, 2006

What a week so far

It is Wednesday and I have experienced extreme emotions this week. Euphoria to be featured in The Star Metro for doing what I love. I've received lots of phone calls and lovely emails from people who are interested in the games and also from like-minded people who love craft.

Yesterday, I felt a sense of achievement putting together bookshelves I got from Ikea. My work room/guest room looks more organised already even though I have piles of books lying on the guest bed.

Today, I am feeling the pits. When I do something, I try to give my 120%. If not, at least 100%. I am not a perfectionist but I like to know that I've done my best and if my best isn't good enough, at least I've tried. It is not a good feeling to give my best only to be let down by someone else. Maybe that's why I like to sew. I am in control of my creation. From the design to what material I use. If it doesn't work out, I have not done a good job and not because someone else didn't pull their weight. I do not have to depend on anyone to get it done.

Perhaps I have been trying to do too much, juggling caring for my family and work. I sew whenever I can spare some time. I definitely will love to spend more time sewing but I'm committed to do a good job at work, so I do.

I am going to have to do something about what is taking me away from time and attention for my children and time away from what I am passionate about. Just that, the money is quite good. At the end of the day, I have to decide: What is more lucrative? A healthy paycheck? Being there for my children in their formative years? Feeding my creative soul and improving my skills in sewing and baking?

I think the answer is pretty obvious.


Blogger me said...

if you can afford it, the paycheck sounds like it should be the last on your list, doesn't it? but then comes family vs your own self satisfaction? that's not too easy, i think. a balance of both, i believe. if you devote too much time to your family and kids and not enough for yourself, you'll turn them into spoilt and whinny ppl, not knowing how to entertain themselves and yourself into a grouch. you'll resent them for taking too much of your attention, over the long run. and when they finally leave your side, you'll feel so empty. but if you devote all the time to your own needs, you'll feel selfish and guilty. after all, when we have kids and a family, we have intangibly promised to care for them. so, can you balance both satisfactorily? that's why being a mother is the hardest job on the world.

10:33 am  
Blogger Min said...

Spot on! Need to find a balance. That's what I do not have now, that's why so "faan" lor. On the way to restoring balance. Yay!

12:46 am  

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