Change for the better

I've been feeling very low lately - low energy, tired, not feeling like doing very much. Generally not interested in anything lah. I am sick of my "baby fat", feeling like a tub of lard, my love handles and not being able to buy clothes off the rack. Ironically, I am not THAT fat! Ya lah, need to lose about 15kg. I weigh in at 69kg now and I am only 153cm tall. Been hearing once too often comments like, "If only you're not so fat, you will look quite cute", "You have beautiful features but need to lose weight lah", "Wah, your butt so big lah". Nope, my weight gain is not from having two kids. I have always been chubby throughout my adolescence years. I lost quite a bit of weight and was at my ideal weight when in my early 20's. I gained weight consistently over several years being in a very happy relationship. When I got pregnant, I weighed about 64kg and went up to about 78kg just before I gave birth to Laura in 2000. Lost all those weight and got back to about 64kg and got pregnant with Adam. I was at my heaviest at 81kg whilst pregnant with Adam. Thanks to breastfeeding, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight very quickly. Now I've gained more! I need to get back to my pre-Patrick weight!

Ironically, I know what to do. Just do not have the discipline to follow through and stick to healthy living. I know I need to reduce my food portion and watch what I eat. I know I need to eat more fruit and veg and less meat and rice. I know I need to cut out refined-carbo. I know I need to cut out snacking while watching TV at night. I know I need to get off my butt and exercise. My most recent healthy living spurt was going on a "Fit For Life" diet which was not combining protein and carbo. Stuck to that for about 30 days and lost 5kg. If that was the rate of weight loss, I just need to revamp my eating habit, combine that with exercise, I should be able to shed 15kg within 6 months! Why didn't I? Because the fried fish is so yummy with rice! Because, that dhall curry and chapati is sooooo good! Because my kids want my attention, so I can't possibly go for my walk now. Because I slept late last night, so I want to sleep in. So many excuses and so little weight loss and more weight gain... Is it my imagination or is it more difficult to get back on revamping my lifestyle after having lapse once?

When will I change my eating habit? When will I start exercising? How long will I stick to eating healthy and exercising? Fruit juice in the morning, eat sensibly the rest of the day and exercise. Not difficult right? Then why can't I do it?? Alright, starting from 1 August 2005 then! Stick to it for three months until November 2005. I shall check back then to see how I've progressed.