Monday, May 15, 2006

The depth of mothers' love

Last week, I noticed that our helper was misplacing items and forgetting to do certain chores. She seemed to be in a world of her own. Something was definitely not right. When I asked her she told me that her younger son had called to accuse her of not being fair. They live in the house which our helper bought and furnished with her hard earned money. On her trip back to the Philippines last year, she bought them a TV set. Her younger son had accused her of "giving" the TV set to his brother and she hadn't bought him one as well. Both her sons are married with young children! This is the same man whose mother had borrowed money to pay for his wedding feast in March last year and is still paying off the loan more than a year later!

For years her children treated her like a bottomless ATM machine. They didn't even pay for phone calls to her to ask for money! Before our helper had a mobile phone, they used to make collect calls. Now that she has a mobile phone, they send her a text message (with the phones she bought for them) so she can call them back for them to ask her for money.

We have often heard of stories like this. A mother who leave her young family to work overseas so that her children can have a better life. In fact, I recall watching a Filipino movie with this story. Being a mother to young children, I cannot begin to understand the desperation she and her husband must have been facing to decide to leave her own children to be cared for by someone else so she is able to make a living. I cannot imagine the kind of hardship these young parents must have been going through to make such a decision. As much love as it takes for a mother to strive to keep her family together, it takes a braver mother to make a sacrifice to leave the children to work elsewhere so her children won't go hungry and so they can have a better life. But such a sacrifice is made at what price? Our helper's children have never been through hardship. They may live humble life but they've never been hungry. To compensate for not being there during their formative years, our helper is showing her love by providing them with every material things they need including new shoes, new bikes, lavish wedding banquets, new fridge... Things which she can ill afford. Having asked their mother for hand outs all their lives, they now do not know when to stop.

Our helper was very hurt by her son's words. Now that she is still working and in some ways providing for them, one of her sons has already shown that he doesn't care very much for his mother. What happens when she's old and feeble and have to depend on them? Will they still take care of her or simply throw her out? The good thing that has come out of this is, she now realises that she really needs to save up for her retirement so she won't have to rely on her children. If eventually, they do come to realise the extent of their mother's love and sacrifice, if they do decide to take care of her, that's a bonus. If they don't, at least she is able to fend for herself financially and she has a roof over her head.


Blogger mumsgather said...

Thats really very sad. Where's the husband?

6:23 pm  
Blogger Min said...

mumsgather, her husband was in the Philippines with their children. He was murdered a few years ago over some misunderstanding. He also added to some of her problems by pawning the farm land she bought for them to grow rice.

7:29 pm  
Blogger Cuddly Family said...

:( HUGS HUGS.. my heart goes out to her..I think I saw the same movie, it was very touching and poignant.. I feel like I wanna SMACK those kids! Yes, must look after her ourselves somehow rather than those ungrateful little.. (can u tell Im annoyed lol)..

9:06 am  
Blogger Jazzmamma said...

hmm... she should call them and say she's found a man and that she's getting married so they have to now start fending for themselves then change her mobile number, and you prob'ly have to change yours as well or else they'll be calling your house! and maybe she can apply for a name change. or better yet, apply for one of those witness protection programmes and kau tim all that, plus get a new face to go with her new name!

or she can just slap them all one time la, which is prob'ly something she should've done a loooong time ago.

reminds me of one of the proverbs in the bible that says, "spare the rod and spoil the child". God knows we all had our fair share of rotans and stuff while growing up and we're not too bad now, are we?

9:45 am  
Blogger Min said...

Someone tried to tackle her leh. But she said she didn't want to get into a relationship or marriage again having been with her husband! LOL

She still has elderly parents. So now she's decided she'll send money for them but not for her sons. They're grown men already! They're so used to her sending them money, for all you know they'll start asking for money to care for their own children! When will it end?

10:59 am  
Blogger ninuk said...

heartbreaking story like this is more than common. ahhh sedih ... hopefully somehow GOD will take care of her in her olden days and she has a blessing now with such a kind hearted employer.

4:48 am  
Anonymous Hijackqueen said...

It's still not late for your helper to realize the act of her kids.

4:36 pm  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home