Mortality

My 5-year-old has been asking questions about death. She asked me yesterday how do we get to heaven when we die? How do we know where to go? Who takes us? Does someone drive a bus or do we need to go on a plane? Is it far?

Yesterday was also when we told her her godfather in America is very ill. Ron was first diagnosed with cancer about 3 years ago. He was given 6 months to live when first diagnosed. Ron managed to beat cancer the first time around but his doctor had also warned him they will come back. Since his initial diagnosis, he had been through chemotherapies, several surgeries and at the end of September, his doctor found some more cancer cells. A couple of days ago, we found out that Ron was not well. Ron was admitted to hospital yesterday for dehydration and intestinal blockage. When Laura heard that Ron wasn't well, she went to the balcony in my room to talk to the angels. She asked the angels to take care of her Uncle Ron.

Today, Laura asked if older people die first. Both sets of grandparents have "gone to heaven", you see. She asked if of both her parents, will papa die first because he's older. Sigh... Why lah such questions from a 5-year-old? I do remember being 5 and having nightmares about losing both my parents. I remember waking up in the middle of the night sobbing too but didn't tell my parents for fear my nightmare would come true. At least my daughter is talking about what she is thinking.

I must confess that I have also thought of my own mortality. I've thought of the need to "put my papers in order". I've been meaning to write a will and to make sure the name of beneficiaries in my EPF account and insurance get updated. I had a chat with my friend a couple of weeks ago, which made me realise that getting the will written and sorting paperwork is the easy part. My friend and I have young children. What next after the will have been read? Who is going to take care of them? What if both parents were to go at the same time or when they are still young and not ready to take care of themselves? Will we have someone who will take care of the children, someone who shares the same value we have? Someone who will love the children as his/her/their own?