Sunday, August 09, 2009

Wakes & Funerals

I've just come back from my cousin's wake. He passed away after a brief illness. This is a cousin on my mother's side whom I've not seen for more than 20 years. Not since I grew up and my mother made less visits to her hometown in Teluk Intan. It is unfortunate that we didn't get to know each other better before my cousin passed on.

A few months ago, my uncle (my mother's brother) passed away. No, we did not keep in touch much as well.

My cousin's wake was simple, mostly attended by friends from church. My uncle's was similar. The similarity with both was, the memorial service was conducted by church friends and pastors. We had to listen to long sermons about how they have gone to be with Christ, how God sacrificed his son for our sins and resurrection. I felt really sad and cross. What happened to remembering the deceased? What about recollecting the happy moments shared and the little things that remind us of him/her? What about things that exasperated us about them? It got me thinking of my own funeral. If I had a say in it, this is what I'll like my funeral to be.

Friends and family gathering to remember me for who I am. What I'm made of. Remember me for what we've done together, times we've spent and what made you laugh, cry and angry with me. I will expect to hear my friend, Audrey, talk about the time I drove her down to Seremban in my father's rickety Mazda Capella to catch her train back to Singapore 'coz we lost track of time. I will expect Mag, Stephanie, Tina, Ooi Pheng, Soo Ken to remember the times we were at the ice-cream parlour near KDU on Wednesdays 'coz they had a "Buy 1 get 1 free" promo for sundaes. Chwee Peng to remember the good and bad times we've shared together. Lia to talk about the sms marathon we have with each other. My children to say that I was a good mom, even though never a perfect mom. PT to remember how he loved me and that he was loved and how I used to exasperate him with my being a headless chicken sometimes. Remember me for my life and not for my death. Have a drink, bring your own fave and I'm sure ice and mixes will be provided. Have a whiskey & soda on me, that being my fave alcoholic drink. Have free flow of my fave ice kacang from my fave stall 雪花飞 in Glutton Square, SS2. For once in my life, I'll like everything to be about me please! :-P