Insight into the mind of a "see-lai"

From the Pudu Market:
1kg Siew pak choy
1kg Bayam (Spinach)
600g Choy Sum Fa (the Hong Kong type)
600g bittergourd
300g long bean
600g another type of green veg which name I do not know
some spring onion
1kg Lai Pak (small green HK veg, normally quite expensive)

Enough vegetable to last approximately one week, with two meals cooked at home daily:
Total: RM13.80


From the supermarket:
2 bundles Siew Pak Choy @ RM2.69 each (need about 4 bundles to make a kg)
2 bundles Choy Sum Fa @ RM2.69 each (also need about 4 bundles to make a kg)
Iceberg lettuce per pack RM3.49
Hydrophonic mix veg for salad RM4.29

Enough vegetable for 4 meals (2 days)
Total: RM18.54

The first time I walked into the Pudu Market about 4 years ago, I was tempted to turn around get back into my car and drive home. In fact, when we first moved to KL from Taman Tun, I used to drive the 30km back to the TTDI market for meat and fish shopping. The TTDI wet market is not wet. It's quite dry, spacious and trolley friendly. In fact, stroller friendly too 'coz I used to take Laura to the market with me when she was a baby. The Pudu market floor is wet, stalls are very close to each other which makes it difficult to maneuver a small market trolley. Also, the workers in the market seem to be able to sense a "newbie". They would push their carts and bigger trolleys along the narrow lanes and scold if you're in their way. Now, I'm a seasoned Pudu market person. I scold back!

At the TTDI market, I was used to the butcher who indirectly taught me a lot about the different cuts of pork and the fish stall I frequented had the types of fish my family like. I used to dread doing my shopping in the Pudu market and actually missed my butcher and fishmonger! After a few trips, I realised it was just too ridiculous for a return journey of 60+km to get foodstuff. I still have not found a good place to get salmon and saba mackerel in KL without paying an arm and a leg and part of my torso. No way am I paying RM69.90 per kg for Salmon at the supermarket when I can pay RM34.00 per kg (when I buy a whole Salmon at the TTDI market).

Pudu Market is humungous compared to the TTDI market! Just the stalls outside can easily make up 3 TTDI markets and one can get anything under the sun there and from the shops in that area! From the usual dry groceries, meat, fish, chicken, veg, rice, flour to clothes hanger, utensils, cutlery to wooden clogs to children toys to cloth and clothes to live fish to electronic components to joss sticks and feng shui stuff to..... Can also send clothes in for alteration and the tailor is super efficient! I sent a pair of jeans and a pair of pants which needed zippers replaced. I expected the tailor to tell me to collect the two pairs of pants the next time I go to the market. Instead, she told me they will be ready when I'm done with my marketing (which is in less than 2 hours). Sure enough, my pants were ready by the time I finished buying what I needed from the market! Talk about quick service!

I have been doing my major food shopping at the Pudu market for about 4 years now and I still have not walked the entire market and the surrounding shops. I will probably need half a day to do that. Yeah, I think I will do that one day.

Family

I spent some time with my brothers and their family this weekend. My youngest brother and his wife recently became first time parents! My little nephew was born on Tuesday, 21 March, so I brought my whole kampung to see the baby for the first time last Saturday. My other brother and his family came along as well. Then on Sunday, we did the Qing Ming rituals for our father who passed away in 1989.

We are quite pathetic with this Qing Ming business. I'd prepared flowers, huat kueh and fruits for the prayers. Other families had food which looked more like a banquet and carried bags after bags of paper offerings to be burned. First, I must say we are Buddhist and not Taoist so do not believe in burning paper offerings. I forgot to bring tea wor! Fortunately, there was a stall nearby so we offered chrysanthemum tea to our father instead LOL

I'm the eldest in the family and the only girl. I would love to say my brothers and I are really close but that won't be true. We do not dislike each other or fought a lot when we were kids. Just the usual, "Mama, he took my toy!" or "Mama, he/she beat me!" We were not an expressive family. In fact, my parents were quite conservative. What is worse is, we're almost indifferent about each other. We hardly know what is going on with each other's life.

My 2nd bro and I used to be really close once. One of our bro died when he was 9. We still do not know and I guess will never know what he died of. I was waken up one morning when we were in Ipoh by some commotion. I opened my eyes and saw my brother being escorted down the stairs. He was delirious and mumbling incoherently. My aunt assured me everything was ok and since I was very sleepy, I didn't think anything of it. I didn't know then that that was the last time I would ever see him. Later that day, the grown-ups came home and my mother was inconsolable. The grown-ups mumbled something or other and I didn't dare ask any questions as they looked really disturbed. Later, my mother told us that my brother needed special care so he had to stay back with the doctor. That night, I dreamed of my brother who told me to take care of my parents. He apologized that he won't be able to do that now as he had to go. I was puzzled by that dream. I never told anyone. Only months later we were told he had died.

Coming from a family with parents who basically gave the message, "Shut up and sit down. Just do as I say", we didn't ask any questions. My parents were distraught but we didn't know why. My 2nd bro and I turned to each other for answers. I was 11 and he was 8. My youngest brother was only 4 then. We stayed up all night without our parents knowing, just talking and trying to figure out what was going on. We expected the worst but did not dare ask anyone.

After our brother's death, I noticed a difference in our home. Our mother became more short tempered. She was already very short fused but she was more of a tyrant now! I was also a rebellious teenager who joined lots of activities in school so I didn't have to go home early. My brothers also became very active in school, so we hardly saw each other. Our father worked long hours. His daily routine was - leave for work early in the morning and got home just before 7pm. Take a short nap before dinner. After dinner, we all sat to watch TV. Not much conversation went on in our home. Then it's off to bed when we were sleepy. Most weekends, my father slept in. When he woke up, he read the newspaper. I do not remember spending much quality time with my father, except a trip to Jaya Supermarket once in a while.

When my father passed away in 1989 after a long illness, I realised I hardly knew the man. I worshipped him but I knew very little about him. I knew he was someone who loved life because I have photos of him at parties, with his friends on trips to waterfalls and I knew he loved to play poker and mahjong. He loved the char kuey teow in Seaview Restaurant and the Kampar jue cheong fun in Sect 14, PJ. He died too early, which meant I didn't have a chance to sit and chat with him. I didn't get to hear about his childhood antics and about his youth. I didn't get the chance to play mahjong with him. I didn't get the chance to find out what made him tick. My father was quite a good cook but rarely cooked. Occasionally, he would make fried beehoon or his other specialty, omelette. My father's idea of cooking was to get my mother to prepare all the ingredients, including heating up the wok! When the wok was heating up, my mother would shout, "Tnia juak liao!" (The wok is hot now!) He would saunter into the kitchen, fry up the beehoon, make a royal mess then he turned off the flame and walked out. Then we all trooped into the kitchen with our plates to serve ourselves. My mother would clean up afterwards. My mother didn't like cleaning up after him but she never told him.

My mother had a martyr syndrome. She felt she had to do everything for the family because it was her job but she didn't feel appreciated. She was frustrated and was constantly angry. Unfortunately, I do not think she made known to my father how she felt. So, my father was oblivious to all she was going through. Years after my father died, my mother felt she could have girly talks with me since I was married myself. She vented to me her frustration and disatisfaction with my father. It was very difficult for me to hear negative things about my father whom in my mind could do no wrong. Finally, I asked my mother if she talked about her feelings with my father. That set off a string of "You think you know everything lah", "Ya lah, grown up already, now you're more clever than me", "Boe tua boe seh" (that I was being rude). I can't help thinking sometimes that my mother had forgotten how to be happy.

I deviated a bit about my relationship with my brothers. Both my brothers are married with children now. I have two beautiful sisters-in-law. My brothers are quite hopeless about keeping in touch. If not for one sister-in-law who calls me occasionally, I think we would probably be in touch less. The best thing my brother has done is to marry this sister-in-law who has the sweetest disposition. I've not spent as much time with my youngest sister-in-law and hope we will have more time together. Some time in the course of growing up we had grown apart. Now I hope we'll be able to get closer to each other but do not think I can do it all by myself. How to get my brothers to make an effort also ah?

Harold Pinter's "The Homecoming"

I was at the opening night of "The Homecoming" at the KLPAC yesterday. Before this what I've heard has been from PT who has been rehearsing the play for two months now. I was blown away! No family can get more dysfunctional than this! I will not attempt to review the play, only to say I liked what I saw. U-En as Lenny was riveting on stage and he's a rookie actor!

Read Maya Tan's preview review here.

I would have posted a poster from the production here but the site hosting the poster seems to be down. Do not miss this show!

March 24 - April 2nd
@ Pentas 2,
Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre (KL Pac)
Sentul Park, Jln Strachan
All shows @ 8.30 pm
except Sunday matinees 3pm
(No show on March 27) Tickets: RM35;
RM20 for students, senior citizens and disabled

To buy call KLPac 603-4047 9000; or
The Actors Studio, Bangsar
603-2094 9400

It's fabulous being 38!

On Saturday, as soon as I got up, Laura gave this to me. She had drawn me a picture to wish me Happy Birthday. Notice that Mama is the only one she has coloured. *whisper* That's because I'm her favouritest person in the whole wide world. See also how Papa wears a crown. I do not know why there is a number for each of us. The sleeping one is our helper.

That afternoon, a few of my friends came over with their children to spend a day by the pool. It was cloudy the whole morning, so I was thinking of activities to keep the children occupied if it should rain. Blow bubbles just outside my condo unit was one option, face painting was another option. I was ready to cook up a batch of hand paints! My friend called on her way over asking if we were still going swimming as it was drizzling. It wasn't drizzling where we were but definitely a grey day. Amazingly, as soon as we said, "OK, let's go to the pool now", the sun broke through the clouds, the clouds floated away and we had a sunny day which was perfect for swimming!



My friend, Lia, and her 3-year-old twin sons baked and decorated this cake for me. It was soooooo rich! YUMM!! Thank you, Lia, Jamie and Josh!



PT was going to take me out for a romantic dinner on Saturday night. We were going to an amazing place which was recommended by his friend but we would swing by to Champ's in Bandar Utama to pick up a bottle of champagne for dinner. PT waited in the car while I went up to get the bottle of champagne. The lift doors opened and I saw our friend, Kurt, who said he was going to the Hard Rock Cafe for drinks. Hmmm... Something was up. Then I turned towards the restaurant in time to see another friend, Andy, duck back into the restaurant. Inside Champ's, at the far end of the restaurant is a raised dining area. I walked in and saw the area decorated beautifully with streamers. I walked through the streamers and saw a group of surprised diners who stared at me, who then shouted "SURPRISE!!!"



Lots of good food, good company and drinks!
Thank you, PT, for organising the party for me. I love you!
Thank you Pauline and your little "elves" who put up the fabulous decorations! PT forgot to take a picture of the "private room".
Thank you, Andy, for keeping me in suspense and erasing all doubts about a surprise party. Kurt, you lie very badly but you and Andy know what a girl wants!
Thank you, Don, for drawing the wonderful picture. I can't believe the likeness!
Thank you, Lia and your little helpers, for baking the wonderfully sinful chocolate birthday cake.
Thank you, all my friends who turned up for the party and for the wonderful gifts I received.
Thank you, Lilian, for making the beautiful cake that was the talk of the party. If you want to take a look at the cake, scroll down

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A fabulous day out

Posing by the dinosaur at the Dinosaur Park.


The children's favourite ride. As close as they can get to a thrill ride when they are less than 6.


At the Butterfly Park. Below some very hungry fishes.





"Mama! A butterfly is on your head!"

Taman Tasik Perdana

On Monday, I thought the kids could do with a day out in the park, so we went to the Lake Gardens. It was cloudy when we left the house and as we approached the Lake Gardens, the ground was wet. It must have poured minutes before we arrived! If I had said we were going home then, Laura and Adam would have been soooooooo disappointed. So we went ahead to the park.

First stop was the playground of course! Laura and Adam refer to the Lake Gardens as the "dinosaur park" 'coz there are several dinosaur hedges near the playground. You can see the tail of a triceratop near the gingerbread men.

The playground area is well kept and some of the equipment are new as they weren't there when we last visited a few months ago.

The playground was wet but the rubber flooring kept the ground from being slushy. Adam found out very quickly that the slides were wet too. He slid down one slide and gave me such a look. Then he blurted, "Mama, my shorts are wet". Didn't stop him from playing some more. At about the same time, I heard "Eeek! My shorts are wet!". That was my drama queen, Laura.

We brought some bread to feed the fishes, tortoises and ducks in the pond. Laura and Adam were thrilled to see so many fish and tortoises!

As soon as a piece of bread was thrown into the pond, lots of fishes came up to feed. The tortoises started swimming towards the bread.


At first we didn't see the ducks. The kids were getting disappointed. Then we saw these two ducks waddle out from the bushes.

Laura and Adam did a good job of feeding the animals and themselves with the bread.

Unfortunately, as with most public places in Malaysia, there was a lack of maintenance. Just below the bridge where we were standing to feed the fishes was a pile of rubbish. Why do people throw rubbish into the pond when there are rubbish bins around? Why hasn't the rubbish been cleared from the pond? The styrofoam box and plastic bottles didn't look like they were just thrown in that day.

We had packed a picnic for our dinner. Just as I got the kids' hands cleaned to give them their dinner, the sky opened up and poured! We all ran into the car and we picnicked in the car! Adam was full of questions, "Why are we eating in the car?", "Why is it raining outside?", "Why we cannot go and play again after dinner?", "Why you didn't buckle my seat belt?", "Why the car not moving?",....

We had so much fun on Monday, we're going back tomorrow. This time we're planning to spend a whole day in the area. First to the playground, then have a picnic brunch and then we shall take the tram to visit the Butterfly Park, Deer Park, Orchid Garden, Spice Garden, etc, etc.

Boy or girl?

The Princesses and the baby Princes

I've just watched "The Boy Who Has Tumour For A Face" on Discovery Channel. The boy, Novemthree, had a tumour so big, it disfigured his face. Read about Novemthree here. After watching the show, I went into the room to give both my children a big cuddle even though they were asleep. Feeling blessed that both of them are healthy.

Watching the story about Novemthree and having met some people who have paid lots of money gender selection has gotten me thinking about childbirth and having children. No, I'm not thinking of having a 3rd child!

When I was pregnant with Laura, PT and I decided to find out the gender of our baby through ultrascan for practical reasons. We needed to find a name for our baby and also easier to get ready clothes and baby stuff ma. So, when pregnant with Adam, we also opted to find out the gender of our baby before he was born. People like to ask pregnant women if they knew the sex of their baby and I was not spared that. I was very happy to be pregnant with a healthy baby and didn't really care if my baby was a boy or a girl. However, as soon as I told I was expecting a baby girl, I suddenly got sympathetic looks and mumbling of something like "Oh, never mind. Can try for a boy next time" Never mind that I was trully thrilled to be expecting a girl!

Then when I was pregnant with Adam, the KPCs who found out that I was expecting a boy suddenly said, "Wah, good lah. One girl and one boy. Perfect!" Irony was, again I didn't care if the 2nd one was a boy or a girl. If I had a set of girls, they will grow up together and do sisterly things which I never got to do because I don't have a sister. If I had one of each, it was also good as they will be able to grow up together. Also good that I will be able to exercise fair parenting, which means no gender preference and that both the boy and the girl are expected to do household chores. Most important to me was (and still is) that they are healthy and they love and care for each other.

I am truly blessed that my children were born healthy. My friend whose son was born in the same year as Adam was not as fortunate. Her son was born with birth defects and he never left the hospital he was born in. He needed help to breath which meant my friend never got the chance to hold him. For one year, she faithfully expressed breast milk to feed her son. She was juggling work, spending time with her older child and caring for her son in the hospital, the whole time hoping and praying that doctors will be able to help her son get well enough to go home. He finally passed away when he was 1 1/2 years old.

Another case is a former schoolmate who got really disappointed to have 3 girls and was estatic when her 4th child was a boy. Thinking her luck has changed, she tried for one more child and again was disappointed to get a girl. All 5 kids are healthy and beautiful. I have heard her, when chatting with friends, praise her son for the most trivial things and yet put down her daughters. Done within earshot of her children. I cannot imagine what must go through the head of her daughters.

Then I read in the newspaper advertisements by companies who promise desperate couples that they will be able to choose the gender of their baby. At this point, some people will probably tell me "Ya lah, easy for you to say 'coz you have one of each". Well, why the obsession with boy child? Oh yeah, to carry the family name and to take care of the family. Traditionally, last time last time lah, the sons worked the field and tended the farm, so having sons is beneficial. Also, in Chinese customs, "On the passing away of the father, the eldest son becomes the head of the family. If the eldest son passes away, his second brother does not assume leadership of the family. Leadership passes to the eldest son of the eldest son or the grandson of the father. He must assume the responsibilities and duties to the ancestors on behalf of the family." (googled and found here) Mothers-in-law have been known to ostracize the daughter-in-law for not producing sons. They even encourage their son to sow some wild seeds to get a male offspring. Then there are are couples who try desperately to have girls because they already have 2, 3 or 4 sons.

Where am I getting at here? I guess I'm just using my blog to lepas geram lah. Our own children are blessings, whether they are boys or girls. Say a quiet prayer knowing that they are healthy.

Calling all former students!

SMK Taman SEA (for those from my batch and beyond will know the school as SEA Park Sec School) will be celebrating its 30th Anniversary!

Date: Saturday, 20 May 2006
Venue: Ballroom, Holiday Villa Subang
Ticket: RM85 nett per person
(RM800 per table of 10 pax)

For more information or tickets, please contact:

Ellen Hooi (012) 210 5332
Kay Sin (012) 355 3803
Hon Mei (012) 298 9329
Tuck Loong (012) 295 0265
Kay Sin (012) 355 3803
Yew Mun (012) 329 1118

Visitors to my blog;

• If you're a former student, I'll see you there!
• If you know any former students, please let them know about the anniversary dinner!
  

Another year older

I've been feeling out of sorts the past couple of weeks and not due to PMS! Feeling of deja vu has been overwhelming 'coz I felt like this close to my 30th birthday. I started reflecting on what I'd achieved till then and remember feeling really depressed because I hadn't achieved very much when I turned 30. I had grandeur plans to buy a car (which I had) and a house (which I hadn't) by the time I was 30. I was at a crossroad, not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. Didn't want to be in a desk-bound job working 9-5 but did not know what I really wanted. I think I spent my 30th birthday moping.

As I'm not one to sit around and mope, I started searching for what I am good at so I wouldn't regret when I turn 40 that I've not done anything worth mentioning. That year, I took up lessons in quilt making and found out that I had a talent for it.

Reflecting on my birthday has gotten me thinking of my birthdays past.

Celebrating my 3rd birthday in Ipoh with my cousins.

My parents stopped having birthday parties for me after this as my mother believed that having birthday parties and receiving gifts would spoil me. Hmm... Guess it never occurred to my mother that it would be a good opportunity for me to learn that birthday parties are beyond receiving gifts.

I enjoyed my birthdays when in secondary school. My friends got together to celebrate each other's birthday in the school canteen. Very simple but fun nonetheless.

I didn't celebrate my 21st birthday as my father was very ill then. It was a tough year for all of us as he was in and out of hospital a lot. I can't remember now but my 21st birthday may have been spent in the hospital taking care of him. He died four months later.

My 24th birthday was really special. My childhood friend, Chwee Peng, organised a dinner party for me. She made an effort to cook for us. We had a nice dinner party before proceeding to Alibi for some dancing.

PT surprised me on my 36th birthday by organising a dinner party by the sea in Lone Pine, Penang. My birthday spent just the way I liked, with family and good friends. This birthday was extra special because I became Mama Min just 5 weeks before. I had both my children with me so life was good!

Writing this entry has made me realise I'm truly blessed. I am surrounded by loved ones and good friends, so I really should snap out of this lousy mood!

Who wants to party with me on my 38th birthday??!

A good question

Last night, a friend who is not married asked me why in my opinion couples who have been together for a long time grow apart. That has gotten me thinking and this song by Rupert Holmes came to mind.

Escape (the Pina Colada song)

I was tired of my lady
We'd been together too long
Like a worn-out recording
Of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleeping
I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns
There was this letter I read

"If you like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga
If you have half a brain
If you'd like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the Cape
Then I'm the love that you've looked for
Write to me and escape."

I didn't think about my lady
I know that sounds kind of mean
But me and my old lady
Have fallen into the same old dull routine
So I wrote to the paper
Took out a personal ad
And though I'm nobody's poet
I thought it wasn't half bad

"Yes I like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
I'm not much into health food
I am into champagne
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And cut through all this red-tape
At a bar called O'Malley's
Where we'll plan our escape."

So I waited with high hopes
And she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant
I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady
And she said, "Oh it's you."
Then we laughed for a moment
And I said, "I never knew."

That you like Pina Coladas
Getting caught in the rain
And the feel of the ocean
And the taste of champagne
If you'd like making love at midnight
In the dunes of the Cape
You're the lady I've looked for
Come with me and escape

repeat chorus twice and fade out

Missed tag

Midnite Lily tagged me in January and I missed it. Sorry! Now, how to define "old"?? To me, old means what my parents used to like but Midnite Lily has defined "old" as in what I used to watch when I was a kid! Errrrmmm....

1. Name one of the actor of the old days that you missed the most
Gene Kelly. My father used to like movies by Gene Kelly. He often told me that people commented that he looked like Gene Kelly. The only photo I could find of my dad which I could scan was this. He had put on a bit of weight then, so not quite the chiseled look that a young Gene Kelly had.

I loved watching Gene Kelly dance in the movies. Loved it when we could get the classic movies channel on Astro. One of the movies I liked a lot was Anchors Aweigh which Gene Kelly starred with Frank Sinatra.

2. Name a cartoon of the old old days
How to name this when the old cartoons are still shown on Cartoon Network? Loony Toons!

3. Name a singer/group of the old days
Wah, Midnite Lily named "Tears For Fears" as from the old days ah? When my nephew and I attended the Hoobastank concert (which I LOVED!), TFF songs were playing before the concert started. My nephew asked if TFF members were still alive! Then he told his mom they were playing songs from the "old days" before the concert. I guess 80's is retro now lah. I like "Tears For Fears" too, especially their "Songs From The Big Chair" album. Group from the old days for me would also be "Frankie Goes To Hollywood". I just found out that FGTH is still around!

4. Band of the old days
Queen. Why did Freddie Mercury have to die before I have a chance to see him perform live???

5. TV Series of the old days
SWAT, Starsky & Hutch, Hawaii-Five-O (which I used to watch with my father)

6. Actress of Old Days
Jessica Tandy was so beautiful, even when in her 80's. For those who don't know who Jessica Tandy was, she was in "Batteries Not Included", "Cocoon" and "Fried Green Tomatoes"

Judy Garland had such a fabulous voice! My children and I can watch "Wizard of Oz" over and over again.

7. Fashion of Old Days that you miss the most
Errr.... I'm glad the bell-bottoms are out and so are fly-away collars. Do not really want to wear oversized shoulder pads, big hair and carrot cut pants again. Nope, don't miss those.

8. Movie of Old Days
Anchors Aweigh, Wizard of Oz

9. Music Video of Old Days
Spandau Ballet and Duran Duran videos

10. Coolest Song of Old Days
RELAX! by Frankie Goes To Hollywood

Can't think of who to tag yet....